Gonna pop a cap into your lansky.

Whew – it’s been a long time since I’ve posted on this site. Feels like only a week or so. I hope I haven’t missed any important celebrity deaths.

But seriously, folks! [laugh track, random claps]

There are only two reasons I’m back again so soon:

1) To remind you of the launch of Grouch on a Couch: The Chapbook at Word on the Street this Sunday at Queen’s Park. Look for the Burning Effigy table, usually in the Fringe section around the park’s southeast area. I’ll be on hand from 11:00 to noon to do signings, should you be so bold as to arrive that early. I may stick around the fest for an hour or so afterwards, but the book’ll be available there all day.

Unfortunately, due to some technical silliness, the DVD I promised isn’t quite ready yet. (Good thing I’m not an elected official! [laugh track, chorus of “Woo!”]) I may either create them in early October and then awkwardly send them to interested chapbook owners, or just chop the bloody thing in four pieces and post it on YouTube. I’ve got the video, so somebody somewhere oughter see it.

2) To let you know that I’m making my third feature appearance this year at Storytelling at Caplansky’s, also this Sunday. Details under the right sidebar. I may even try some actual storytelling this time, who knows?

The night is hosted by stand-up comic extraordinaire Marilla Wex, who also designed this website. I believe it is now compulsory by law to refer to her as “Rill”.

More stuff coming up in October. CFSW. A return to Ottawa, perhaps to survey the damage I left there last year. And cake. Who doesn’t love cake?

My God. It’s full of jars. (Dave Bowman’s cupboard, that is.)

Has it really been four months since I last posted here? One whole third of a year?

I’m sure you’re just as amazed as I am. Really. I mean, I know you’re all so obsessed with me and what I’m up to that you check in here every day, patiently waiting for another word from me.

I mean… there’s got to be somebody looking at my website. Right? Other than spammers?

Humph. Enough of this gay banter and robust chitchat, dear Winifred. Sure, it’s been quiet lately, but I’ve got some eventsicles coming up in the next two weeks, and it’s high time to tell you all about ’em.

1) In the Can at the sTIFFed! Film Festival

I recently had a role in the short film In the Can, written and directed by Richard Enos and starring Yehuda Fisher, Dan Fox and Lisa Large. The film will be screened this Sunday night at the sTIFFed! Film Festival, which is devoted to shorts that were turned down by TIFF.

Well, hey. You know they’re all gonna be awesome if they’re rejects, huh?

It’s at the Annex Wreck Room; tickets are $15. I may or may not be there myself (call me cheap, but I’m not sure I’m ready to pay fifteen smackers to see my own face on the screen), but if you’re there, I’m sure you’ll have a fun time. There’s also an opening reception, an after-party and even awards.

2) Second City: Students Rock the Nite

As you may or may not know (or care), I’ve taken some Second City improv and sketch-writing classes over the past three years. Right now, I’m enrolled in Writing IV, presided over by veteran comedy writer and actor Bruce Pirrie, and we’re strutting our stuff next Wednesday night.

And by “strutting our stuff”, I obviously mean “having other actors read our scenes aloud in public”.

So that’s what’s going to happen with one of my sketches next week, at the John Candy Box Theatre at the Second City Training Centre. (Get it? Get it? John Candy! Candy Box! No wonder they’re a comedy institution.) I believe there will also be a couple of improv classes doing their thing as well, so there’s something for everybody with a funny bone.

Bone. Ha ha.

More specific details on the above two events are on the right sidebar, under “upcoming events”. Just point your clicker at one and watch magic unfurl.

3) Grouch on a Couch: The Chapbook, launching at Word on the Street

Yep. They warned you about this.

My infamous little Fringe show is about to become a chapbook. And possibly a DVD, too.

Burning Effigy Press is publishing the script as a mini-chapbook, along with a short foreword by Your Humble Narrator. And if plans go as thinged, there will be a bonus DVD featuring a recording of one of the Bread & Circus performances. (It turned out to be the one at which only five people showed up and one of my favourite sound cues wasn’t working, but whaddyagonnado.)

We’re launching the paper edition of Grouch at this year’s Word on the Street literary festival, on Sunday, September 25 at Queen’s Park. The fest goes from 11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Look for the Burning Effigy Press table in the Fringe section. I may even be on hand early on to sign a few copies.

Stay tuned. More coming up as events unfold.

Plans and provisions, Tom Wingfield, plans and provisions.