Counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor

Posted by Jeff on May 6th, 2012 in News | 0 comments

Happy Cinco de Mayo. You’ve got less than thirty-five minutes after this post to appreciate it.

Remember a few weeks ago, when I said that I did a video shoot for BeSpokeCity for my old warhorse “He Reads Michael Ondaatje”? Here it be, sucka.

And if you go to the actual YouTube page, you may see links to several much-less-professional-looking videos of me reading or performing “Review of This Piece”, “Party Like Juan” and a relatively new bit, “A Love Letter”, which I’m currently in the process of memorizing.

So… this is your chance to post comments on my videos like, “omg lol thiss guy sux!!!!!!! haha lolol”

Next Friday, the 11th, I’m going to be performing at Jammin’ on the One, in another comedy sketch from Rabbit Hole Sketch Company, “Arthur and Martha Have Visitors”, written and directed by Charlene Winger. Also appearing in the scene will be my friends Terry Kan, Magdalena BB, Charlene, Richard Allen and Arden Church. I think there’s another featured performer or two, and it’s all followed by an open improv jam for everyone.

Now, I know what you’re thinking… “But Jeff… you’re acting? Again? Surely you learned your lesson from Grouch on a Couch? That you’re not a real actor? Come on. Jest not with me, O foolish man who dost not know thyself.”
Yes, I did learn my lesson from Grouch. Actually, I learned a lot of lessons from doing that show, many of which I wish I could unlearn, and most of which are reasons why you should buy my chapbook of the show’s script and earn me back some of the money and dignity that I lost. But I digress. I’m doing this sketch, and it’s mainly for fun. Come see it and maybe you’ll have fun too.

And now, ladies and gentlemen… Conway Twitty.

(You know you’re losing your touch when you start stealing your jokes from The Dog & Baby Show. I mean, Family Guy.)

Whan that Aprille, with hise shoures soote…

Posted by Jeff on Apr 17th, 2012 in News | 0 comments

How’s it going?

Not so much has happened since February. Oh, I went to Italy for a week. Italy is nice. I ate a lot of gelato and pizza and pasta. As you do. While in Pisa, I got new ideas for two spoken-word monologues, which I’ve already drafted. I don’t know if they’re any good. We’ll see when I test them out.

My new Coffeehouse.ca site is going to be up soon. When it’s ready, you’ll be able to find it on the Coffeehouse link on the links page. You can find it. You’re a big boy. Or girl.

I just shot a video for BeSpokeCity of my old piece “He Reads Michael Ondaatje”. I’ll embed it on this site when it’s ready and public. And although it’s been more than a year, we’re hoping to get that video of Grouch on a Couch online soon. Wheels are turnin’.

The only gig I have this month is yet another appearance at Storytelling at Caplansky’s, next Sunday. I don’t know what stories I’m going to tell yet. Maybe it will be the thrilling yarn of the writing of this blog entry.

That’s all for now. Go slap a monkey.

Happy birthday, Charlie Dickens

Posted by Jeff on Feb 5th, 2012 in News | 0 comments

In case you haven’t heard, this coming Tuesday is the two-hundredth anniversary of the birth of the great Victorian novelist Charles Dickens.

I suggest you celebrate by reading Great Expectations, one of the best damn novels ever written. David Copperfield is also really good, as is the first half of Oliver Twist. But if you’re one of those people who refuse to read Dickens because your Grade 11 teacher forced you to read A Tale of Two Cities in less than a week, or because you think anything written before Hemingway is “like, OMG, like, totally lame-o and gay, dood”, then I would suggest you read John Irving’s brilliant 1986 essay, “The King of the Novel” – a passionate, heartfelt defense not only of Dickens but of any writer who has ever had anything worth saying about society and human nature. It’s in Irving’s short-story collection, Trying to Save Piggy Sneed. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Or, if you just don’t like reading, then watch David Lean’s movie adaptations from the 1940s. Drink a shot whenever you see antisemitism.

I’ll do my part for Dickens’ birthday on February 19, when I feature once again at Storytelling at Caplansky’s. By request of the host, Marilla Wex (who designed this website, and may even be reading this right now – Hi, Marilla! *waves*), I’ll memorize my infamous Dickens parody, “Little Nell”, and perform it there. Warning: It contains graphic violence, long book titles and a spectacularly inept cockney accent.

But why am I going on about Dickens? This website isn’t about him. It’s about me, me, me!

Three nights before Caplansky’s, I’m performing at Launchpad Comedy, a night of yuks hosted by my friend Magdelena. I’ll be the sole comical poet surrounded by a roomful of legit comedians. Wish me luck.

But the big show is on the afternoon of Sunday, February 26.

That’s when my Second City writing class presents Of Vice and Men, a one-hour, Second City-style revue on the Mainstage, featuring real, semi-professional actors performing our words. (We’ll be in the show too, briefly, in the opening sketch.) I’ve contributed scenes lampooning kindergarten classes and old-timey movie producers.

Here’s the Facebook event page. If you can’t make the 26th, though, there are also small “work in progress” presentations you can see on the 12th and 19th. (There was one yesterday, too, but you can only catch that one with a Tardis or a DeLorean.)

Info on all of the above events on the right sidebar.

What a world of gammon and spinach it is, though, ain’t it?

Only 100 years until the Temples of Syrinx are torn down.

Posted by Jeff on Jan 7th, 2012 in News | 0 comments

Hey man.

I’m gonna keep this one short, because I’ve got other stuff to do.

So if you’re one of those people who doesn’t like these blog posts but reads them anyway, this one will save you a little suffering. If you love these blog posts, well, tough.

This Thursday the 12th, I’m featuring at “The Beautiful and the Damned”, a monthly poetry and music series run by everybody’s favourite She Bytch, Carolina Smart. Also featuring is the hilarious local poet David Clink, and the musical feature will be either Arlene Paculan or Charnie Guettel. Hosting is Rex Baunsit.

Wanna see the poster, which misspells my name?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wanna see the other one?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you enjoy this night of poetry and. If you want to RSVP on the Facebook page, here it is.

I’m also having another one of my comedy scenes read aloud at the John Candy Box Theatre this month. It’s supposed to be on the 25th… but they may change it. It may be the 18th. I can’t tell you yet. Check the right sidebar for any updates. (Why should I have to do everything, huh? Huh?)

And now, for reasons only known to myself, I shall poke your tum-tum.

Remember, remember, my gigs in December.

Posted by Jeff on Dec 3rd, 2011 in News | 0 comments

All right, Sparky. I’ve got a lot to update about this time, so let’s get to it. Like Foster Hewitt, when he’s gonna do it. To a freakin’ Jesuit.

Didn’t know I could MC, could ya? Yo.

Before I get into the events, though… I’ve been making little appearances on the ol’ Interwebs.

Like, remember back in October, when I did that reading via Skype, broadcast live to an audience in Sheffield, England from the comfort of my own modest little East York apartment? Well, the other end got posted on YouTube:

Unfortunately, and true to Skype, the screen was frozen half the time. So they saw me caught in suspended animation with a goofy expression on my face. But they could hear. So can you.

And I obviously didn’t make a total fool of myself, because I later got a complimentary mention in this blog review of the show by Rob Hindle.

Did you manage to get out to my chapbook launch last Sunday? No? Well, never fear. All is not lost. Because you can still see it – and read about it – courtesy of this nice little ol’ writeup about the show by Jason Darrick, on Dreadful Tales. The article features a video of me performing a scene from my one-man show, Grouch on a Couch:

Speaking of Grouch on video… I do have a video of one of the performances. (It was the least-attended one, and it had some stupid technical glitches, but that’s better than nothing.) One of these days, it’s gonna get posted online, and then, if you never got to see it live, you can finally see it in the comfort of your own home. Huzzah.

* * * * *

Okay. Now to the events.

Remember in my last post, when I said I was doing another sketch reading at the Second City Training Centre on November 30, and then it got bumped to December 7? Well… this Wednesday is December 7.
So if you come to the John Candy Box Theatre on Wednesday night, you can hear my comedy scene “The Interpreter” read aloud by actors. Like, real actors. Not a goddamn phony like me. Do come out and laugh heartily, my friends.

On the 11th, I’m making my fourth – yes, fourth – feature appearance this year at Storytelling at Caplansky’s, hosted by the creator of this website wot you are reading now, Marilla Wex. Rumour has it that I’ll be revealing the story behind the inspiration behind my old piece, “He Reads Michael Ondaatje”. Or maybe not. I haven’t really decided yet. Go and see for yourself.

And then, on the 15th, catch me at the fifth annual Hot-Sauced Words Anti-Pageant Show, along with Kirsten Sandwich, Nicki Ward, Sue Reynolds, Tuesday’s Children and Kate Marshall Flaherty. Plus an extended open mic.

More details on the right sidebar. But you knew that.

Happy New Year. It may be the last. If the Mayan prophecy is wrong, we have only a hundred years to go before the Rush one.