“They’re a rotten crowd. You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.”

Posted by Jeff on Jan 1st, 2020 in News | 0 comments

The twenties are back, everybody.
Yes, I know… the pedants are going to look at you condescendingly and sneer and say, “No. No. The new decade does not start until 2021. Stop behaving like a swine, you unsophisticated fool.” Well, to hell with them. Let’s start partying like we’re at the Gatsby mansion at midnight in 1924, or at the Overlook Hotel in 1921.

One year ago today, I began writing my novel, Hate Story.
I was hoping to have a full first draft completed well before now, but life always gets in the way. The good news is that I’m near 200 pages. More good news: next week, I’m supposed to start the Humber School for Writers mentorship program. Hopefully this program will help transform my book into something that fits into the widest outer realm of being publishable.

One year ago today, I began writing the opening chapter of Hate Story. Today, I hope to sit down again with that opening chapter and fix all of the many, many issues with it, before I show it to my mentor.

But I’m not writing this website update to tell you about all that. I’m here to tell you that Damon Lum is hosting yet another Ad Lib Talent Show for his birthday this month, and I’ll be one of the performers. I’ll read a piece of fiction there, though I haven’t decided what yet. More deets on the right sidebar.

Speaking of me and pieces of fiction: I recently had two short stories published on the website The Blake-Jones Review! Read them here:

“Way Out”
“Death Has a Laugh”

I also posted another story draft on Wattpad, which may amuse you:

“Stock Star”

And my recent theatre reviews for Digital Journal – The Flick, Bend It Like Beckham: The Musical and Second City’s current revue – are at this link.

And now… on with the twenties.
Here’s a video guide if you need it:

Ta ta.

You can always depend on the kindness of strangers

Posted by Jeff on Oct 6th, 2019 in News | 0 comments

Just checking in again, to remind you all (or anyone who visits this site, if anyone does) that I exist, I breathe, I live, and I’m still writing. Well, trying to find time to write. I’ve hit a wall in my novel-in-progress, mainly due to lack of time, which has killed my momentum. I hope to pick it up again soon.

I’ve started a Wattpad account. And I’ve posted a grand total of… one story there:

“A Dickens of a Day”

It’s a very silly homage to Charles Dickens, a re-imagining of his first meeting with Ellen Ternan. And his weird habit of staring at corpses. Seriously, look it up.
Other stories to come, I hope… when I find the time to make revisions to them.

More importantly: my more polished short story “The Madness East of St. George” is going to appear in the next issue of The Artis magazine. (I mistakenly believed it was going to be in the spring issue, so ignore my past mentions.) It is expected to be out next month… more or less. I think you’ll be able to pick it up at Indigo in Oakville or something. Or order it online. Here’s the mag’s website.

And I’m still doing theatre reviews for Digital Journal. I’ve written a few new ones since my last post here; you can read them at this link. You can still catch Soulpepper’s excellent production of A Streetcar Named Desire for the next three weeks. Brando isn’t in this one, though. Neither is Marge Simpson.

And now, to the point:
Ad Lib is holding another one of its talent shows this month, a Halloween-themed one that is also a celebration of musician Vanessa McMahon’s birthday. I’ll be reading or performing something there too. Come in costume if you want. Details on the right sidebar.

And I’ll leave you with…

Spider-Verse. Spider-Verse. Movie that could have been much worse.

Posted by Jeff on May 4th, 2019 in News | 0 comments

Does it star
Tobey in tights?
No it don’t
‘Cause he bites.
Hey there, I saw the Spider-Verse…

“Stop that, lad. You’re not gonna do a song while I’m here.”

Well.
The only reason I’m here is to let you know that there’s another Ad Lib Talent Show coming up at the Arts and Letters Club in a couple of weeks. Check the right sidebar for deets.

And the only reason I led off with a silly Spider-Man song is because I’m very likely bringing back an old short story from the dead — “How I Freaked Out the Spider-Man Guy”. It’s a fifteen-year-old story (published in my 2007 chapbook Guilt Pasta) that I still think is funny. What with everybody so obsessed with the Marvel Cinematic Universe these days, it’s a wonder I haven’t resuscitated this story sooner.
Of course, Broken Pencil loathed Guilt Pasta and everything in it, stating in its review that I don’t “even know what fiction is.” So perhaps I’m in error in calling it a short story. Maybe it’s a waffle. Or a beagle’s nostril.

Also, if you want to read a few recent stage reviews I’ve done for Digital Journal, here they are.
I’ve been phoning in my reviews lately, due to lack of time, but you may still enjoy them, and I expect to get paid a few dollars for them. (Literally, a few dollars.)

Now, doggies.

Happy Cinco de Cuatro, meine Liebchen.

Two videos and a poster. (No wedding, no funeral.)

Posted by Jeff on Mar 5th, 2019 in News | 0 comments

Hi.

I’m gonna make this one quick, because I’m tired.

First, I’m performing at this on Sunday:

If you’re on the Facebook, you can see the event page at this link.

Second, I’m in a couple of recent videos. Videos!

As I mentioned in my last post, I did an interview on The Artis with Ivy Reiss back on January 25. It was posted online. So far, almost all the feedback has been good. Which means I probably wasn’t controversial enough. Watch the video below:

And I also had a small role as an evil, scary clown in the new Kraken Not Stirred video, “Time Loop Episode”, which was released today:

Cut. Print. Bye.

I’m going to be on the television. Well, sort of.

Posted by Jeff on Jan 20th, 2019 in News | 0 comments

I’m back.

“But Jeff! You just posted here a few weeks ago. I don’t know if I can keep up with these inane ramblings of yours. Slow down and read a book.”

Well, okay. But first I have a little update…

Remember in my overlong and over-reflective January 1 post, when I said I was going to be interviewed on TV in March? Online TV, that is.
Well, that got bumped up to this month. Specifically, this Friday.

Tune in to ThatChannel.com this Friday, January 25 at 1:00 p.m. EST (6:00 p.m. if any U.K. friends/acquaintances are interested) to see me on The Artis with Ivy Reiss. I think I’m actually going to be on around 1:30.

The topic we are planning to discuss:
“Is Nuance Dead… in the Age of Outrage?”

That’s right. Consider that a trigger warning. I may be saying some rather controversial and politically incorrect things. You will probably get angry. Well, angrier than usual.

To see past interviews Ivy has conducted on the show, with other Toronto-area artists, click here.

Also, catch me at the Arts & Letters Club in the evening of the same day. Already covered that in my last post.

And now, sit back and bask in the greatest musical score ever contributed to a TV cartoon. Well, maybe second-greatest, after the first two Charlie Brown specials.

Aloha, fellow babies.