Conjiction jiction, what’s your fiction?

Posted by Jeff on Sep 1st, 2018 in News | 0 comments

Time flies when you’re not accomplishing much, huh?

It’s been nearly five months since I posted on this thing. In that time, I’ve been focusing less on spoken word; I don’t have much new material, and I’ve been frequenting few open mics. That’s not to say I haven’t been writing. On the contrary – my day job involves almost nothing but writing, and I still poison the Internet with the occasional amateurish theatre review.

So what have I been doing lately? I’ve been focusing more on fiction. Short stories. Some of them silly, and some of them slightly less so. I took a couple of classes that were very encouraging, and they got me writing fiction again. At least, for the time being. I’ve been slacking off for the last few weeks, after the second class ended and work and other responsibilities began piling up. I’m hoping to pick that up again this long weekend, although I’m not ready to try the three-day-novel contest.

Perhaps I’ll read one of my shorter stories this Tuesday. Speaking of which…

On Tuesday, I’ll be featuring at Wild Writers, along with Bänoo Zan.
This will be a fun evening of poetry, prose, spoken word, beer… and free snacks! Host Georgia Wilder always has free munchies available – usually nachos, some kind of dippable vegetable, and occasionally even sushi. You may not even need to get dinner.

So expect a twenty-five-minute set from me, and bring a poem or two to perform on the open mic. More details on the right sidebar. Join the Facebook event page here.

In the meantime… you can check out a few more of my amateurish theatre reviews at this link.
Scroll down a bit and you can see the tribute I wrote about Superman: The Movie back in April. Then come back and yell at me for my lack of wokeness in not appreciating Black Panther and Wonder Woman enough.

And now, just for kicks…
here’s the best BAFTA moment ever.

Back to school, you mangy little brats.

Whan that Aprill with his shoures soote / The droghte of March hath perced to the roote

Posted by Jeff on Apr 12th, 2018 in News | 0 comments

Hi.

I have new material. I don’t know if it’s really any good, although it got a few chuckles at a few poetry open mics, if that counts for anything, got damn it.

This Friday night, I’m back at Jammin’ on the One, also informally known as JotO, to do another short spoken-word set in front of the improv folks. You can be there too, if you want. Just show up at the Arts and Letters Club downtown, ring the bell, and then take the elevator or the fancy-shmancy stairs to the third floor. When you see the free chips and pretzels and all the silly improv people, you will know you’re in the right place.

Also, I wrote a few new theatre reviews. I invite you to read them, with all the audacity of a classic review-reading-inviter. Click here for that.

And now… do you believe in fairies?

No you don’t. But here’s the 1960 TV broadcast of Peter Pan, with Mary Martin, on glorious colour videotape. I haven’t had a chance to watch the whole thing, but I hear it’s super-politically-incorrect.

So long and thanks for all the ghoti.

The Penguins of March

Posted by Jeff on Mar 3rd, 2018 in News | 0 comments

They say March comes in like Dev Patel and goes out like Rael.
(If you didn’t get those references, you are probably too functional and socially adept for this website.)

No features this month, but you can catch me onstage in at least one poetry show: they’ve asked me to host the Art Bar yet again, and this time, the featured readers/performers are Rocco de Giacomo (again), Bruce W. Powe, and… Sheri-D Wilson.

Yes, that Sheri-D Wilson.
Not to be confused with Sherry D. Wilson, who runs a nice little waste-disposal business in Kalamazoo.

“Oh, this is too much!” you may be saying. “Come on, Jeff. It’s bad enough that they keep bringing you back to host Canada’s longest-running all-poetry series. But they’re even trusting you with Sheri-D Wilson? Sheri-D is a legend. One might even say, an icon of the Canadian spoken-word community. I’m not sure you can handle it, Jeff. I don’t think you have the maturity or the professionalism. Why don’t you let one of those nice IFOA people do it?”

Well, I will host the night on March 13, and rest assured that I plan to be mature and professional and on my best behaviour.

“But Jeff! She once wrote a poem about the c-word. The c-word, Jeff! That’s too much temptation for you. How do we know that you’re not just going to use that as a springboard for a night of abortion and hooker jokes, Jeff? Remember how you ruined Saskatoon.”

I ruined a whole city? Well, now you’re just being stupid, imaginary detractors.

So come to the Art Bar, hear three fine poets perform, and maybe even sign up to read in the open mic. You may even have a fun or two.

*****

Care about the Academy Awards? Then you’ll want to read my latest Digital Journal column:

“Oscars 2018 – Predictions, personal picks and random commentary”

Hurry! You have to read it before tomorrow night.
After that, the whole article becomes irrelevant. Forever.

And now for something completely different:

Ad libs and queens. These are a few of my favourite theens.

Posted by Jeff on Jan 14th, 2018 in News | 0 comments

Welcome to 2018. And maybe the pleasure dome.

Two gigs this month. Aren’t you excited?

This Thursday, I’m performing a feature set at the Queen Gallery Poetry and Music Night. This event was supposed to happen last month, but it got moved. It seems that mid-January is a far better bet for audience turnout than four days before Xmas.

There’s also an open mic, if you want to share your own writing. It’s a small, friendly art gallery with a relaxed, casual atmosphere. Here’s the Facebook event page. If you’re not on the Facebook, I heroically and thoughtfully posted the details on the right sidebar here. You’re welcome.

Also: the Friday of next week, my friend Damon Lum is holding yet another Ad Lib Talent Show for his birthday. Other performers besides me include… actually, I’m not sure. And I’ve been too lazy to ask. There may be music by Charlene Winger and Terry Kan. And other stuff. Just go, it’ll be a surprise.

Are you suffering from the winter, post-holiday blues?
Here’s a montage of Cartoon Ricky Gervais laughing. (A few images/words may be slightly NSFW.)

Dress warm, flyboy.

Down with pageants and that sort of thing.

Posted by Jeff on Dec 10th, 2017 in News | 0 comments

Four months! How have you survived four months without a post from me here? [listens through earpiece] What? Almost nobody even reads this website? Oh. [listens again] What? Jon Stewart wants me to stop stealing his earpiece bit? Oh.

I was travelling and doing stuff. I was making people laugh in Ireland and England, while freezing half to death in Scotland. I even offended a few people at one gig. Happy days. Maybe I’ll go back next year.

Did you think Hot Sauced Words was dead? You were wrong.
Hot Sauced Words may be over as far as monthly events, but it’s bringing back its annual Anti-Pageant Show this Tuesday, care of the Art Bar. And I’m one of many people who’ve been asked to read or perform a three-minute set – others being Allan Briesmaster, Myna Wallin, David Clink, Nicki Ward, Edward Nixon, Josh Smith and several more, with music by Walk on the Wire. Co-hosted by James Dewar and Kate Marshall Flaherty.

Only $5 for an evening of lovely poetry, spoken word and music, with proceeds going to the Daily Bread Food Bank. Here’s the Facebook event page.

If you’re not on the Facebook, you can see details on the right sidebar here.
If your computer cannot display sidebars… well, I can’t help you there. Sorry.

Also: If you have a time machine, I’m hosting the Art Bar on November 28.

Still doing journalistic stuff when I have time, too. This article I wrote for OHS Canada received some attention back in August:

“Weed at Work”

Also doing the occasional theatre review for Digital Journal now and then. Check out what I’ve reviewed recently at this link.

And I also write fun listsicles about Toronto events and attractions for the Yellow Pages website. Here are a few recent ones:

“Great Places to Buy Unique Holiday Gifts”
“Top Holiday Season Shows and Performances This Year”
“Thirteen Haunted Places You Can Visit in Toronto”
“Ten Places to Visit in Toronto This Fall” (Hey, fall’s not over yet, is it?)

That’s all I got for now, little guy. Keep it real.