What’s the story, Morning Glory? What’s the tale, Cardin… ale?

Hey bud. C’mere.

Wanna hear a story? Do ya?

Well, I’ve got a couple of beauties for ya. I can even show ya where to get more.

Because it’s almost March, and I’ve got a couple of storytelling gigs this month. Seems my spoken-word features aren’t exactly drawing the masses these days, so I’m settling for the glamorous, millionaire-making world of storytelling. Maybe I’ll get discovered by some legendary raconteur and thrust into the celebrity spotlight. Only to die two years later from a freak overdose, later to be discovered lying on the bathroom floor with a magic marker stuck in my left nostril. It happens only to the best.

Ga.

First up, I’m doing Storytelling at Caplansky’s yet again. Only this time, it’s a special Storytelling at Caplansky’s. It’s so special that you should be willing to miss the Academy Awards for it. It’s the third-anniversary show, with K. Trevor Wilson, Zebulon Pike and a few other folks. I’ll be regaling the audience with memories of a horrible landlord to whom I like to refer as Canadian Archie Bunker. Stories and smoked meat, punks.

Then, later on, I shall make my debut in the long-ish-running “Tales Of…” series. It’s a popular series that’s found a new home in a snazzy west-end venue with a comedy-club vibe (the brick wall at the back of the stage helps). This month’s edition is Tales of Revenge, and I’m going to tell how I got the bouncer from the old Joker nightclub fired. Don’t worry, the asshat deserved it.

If you’d rather watch the Oscars than go to Caplansky’s on Sunday, well… fine. Just fine, then. But at least promise me you’ll do it based on one of my suggestions – in my latest Toronto.com article, “Where to Watch the Oscars in Toronto”.

See? That way, I still have power over you.

I also reviewed Canadian Stage’s production of Nina Raine’s Tribes, for Digital Journal. It’s still running until this Sunday, so hurry up and read it here.

Happy March. Say hi to the lion.

The Groundhog Has Landed

Has it really been more than four months since I updated this silly thing? Have you been enjoying a third of a year whooshing by without any annoying event plugs from me?

Well. No more. I got stuff coming up. The drought is over.

First off, I’m featuring in Looseleaf Poets in Etobicoke later this month. Hosted by the kind and beautiful Jan McIntyre, the show will also feature Howard Isenberg, Claudio Gaudio and Lisa Richter, along with the standard open mic.

Yes, Etobicoke. Rob Ford country.
I’d make a joke about it here, but I have a feeling any joke would have already been done, and more successfully.

(Crack. Ha ha.)

In March, I’ve got a couple of storytelling gigs. But this is a February post, so you shall not be hearing about those here. You greedy fool, you.

Although I haven’t had any gigs in four months, it’s not like I haven’t been doing anything. I got sick (twice), got the flu shot a month too late, had a death in the family and sang some goddamn karaoke. But I also wrote a few more Digital Journal reviews and Op-Eds, and you can click here to read them. I also wrote a few more pieces for Toronto.com, about tobogganing and ice skating. (I also wrote one about stuff to do over the holidays… but they took it down after the holidays were over. Shame you missed it. It referenced David Cronenberg and Evil Dead. Gotta be quicker next time, Sir Slowfindsalot.)

Happy Beatles Day. See you on the other side of the walrus.

Happy Thanksgoween, Charlie Brown.

It’s October. And you know what that means.

Don’t you?

Actually, I don’t either. I was going for style over substance.

If style means attention-grabbing clichés to attract the masses like sheep to my product. If spoken word counts as a product.

Anyway. If you like spoken word, and you like improv too, then make your way to the Arts and Letters Club next Friday the eleventh, as I’m doing yet another poetry set at Jammin’ on the One. It’s a monthly improv jam with two comedic features and short-form games. Come to play, come to watch, it’s all good.

(Why doesn’t the SpellCheck on Microsoft Word like the word “improv”?
Or “SpellCheck”, for that matter?)

Looking for online reading material too?
I provide that as well. Go to Digital Journal and check out two new theatre reviews – of recent Toronto productions of Next to Normal and The Best Brothers. And look out for my review of Canadian Stage’s new production of Venus in Fur, sometime in the next few days.

Now go home and get your shinebox, Tommy.

Nothing could ever be more fun than a draiser.

UPDATE: In addition to what’s below, I’m also featuring at the Art Bar this Tuesday the 10th. Also featuring are Brandon Williamson and Ivy Reiss. Now read the rest…

Hey kids.

September is going to be a busy month.

But not as busy as October. There’s lots of stuff happening in October. But September’s busy too. I mean, busier than I’ve been on the spoken-word and storytelling front for a long time.

That was rather anticlimactic. Let’s try again.

Hey kids. Do you like fun? Have you declared yourself ideologically and morally in favour of fun times? Is this aforementioned “fun” a concept of which you approve?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, then get yourself to the Black Swan Tavern on the evening of September 15 – for the KEEP CALM and GET RID OF JEFF Fundraiser!

Because I want to go back to the U.K., to meet up with a few friends and see shows and whatnot. So this is your big chance to help kick me out of the country for eleven days. That’s a worthy cause, right?

We’ll have music by High Heels Lo Fi and Kirsten Sandwich; stand-up comedy by Marilla Wex and Magdalena; spoken word by Dave Silverberg and Mike Bryant; a raffle for great prizes; and Jeez Leweez, we’ve even got ourselves a sponsor: Ganolife coffee. What more could you want, my good man?

Why, there’ll even be a surprise ukulele player. Except that it’s not a surprise anymore, because I just told you. But I don’t even know if anybody reads the blog posts on my website anyway, so maybe it really is a surprise. Well, it’s too late to go back and bugger around with that bit, so let it stand. Damn you.

But the good times end not with the draiser of fun.
The following Friday, you can catch me at Red Rocket Coffee for Makin’ a Racket at the Rocket. I’ll be featuring alongside Kelli Deeth and Pat Connors, with an open mic too. Regardless of the venue name, there will be no TTC streetcars. So you can traverse easily within the café, without ever having to wait for half an hour.

That was a very awkward joke about the TTC and its notorious ineptitude. Waiting! Snicker.

I hear the Toronto Film Festival is in town. That sounds like a perfect excuse to read my new Toronto.com article, “Hollywood North: Toronto Locations Used in Film”. Make with the clickety-clack, Padre.

And look for my review of Lower Ossington Theatre’s production of Next to Normal, on Digital Journal this Saturday.

Now go back to school. There’s a good lad.

The August of Her Soul II: The August of Her Souler

How are ya fixed for stories, mac?

I’m doing Storytelling at Caplansky’s again this coming Sunday. It’s the Simcoe Day edition. Also featuring Amy Zuch, Hayley Kellett, Briane Shelly Nasimok and Rick Jones. Hosted by Marilla Wex, the creator of the site what you are reading now.

More stuff coming in September and October.

In the meantime, want to read some more reviews and articles by me?

Here’s some recent stuff on Digital Journal.
Also go to Toronto.com, search “cottrill” and then narrow it down to “Article only”. That’s because I’m too damn lazy to link every separate article here. Earn your salt, boy. And I just started working at OHS Canada, so expect lots of stuff on their site too.

(I typed “dame lazy” by accident there. That sounds like something a scrivener would say in the 1930s, doesn’t it?)

Happy new month. Get a tan. Or don’t. See if I care.

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