Well. What a year that was.
I did a book tour in Australia. I saw lots of crazy animals there, dipped my feet in the Indian Ocean for the first time, swam in the Pacific Ocean less than forty-eight hours later, and performed in a handful of well-paid poetry gigs. Failed to see a living quokka, though.
I also conducted my own little ragtag Canadian Book-Fair Mini-Tour (inspired partly out of petty anger at the way Toronto Word on the Street mismanaged my exhibitor application this year). This tour saw me attempting to promote my novel Hate Story in Ottawa (twice), Vancouver and Lethbridge, Alberta. I was also supposed to be at an event in Timmins, but the flight was delayed and eventually cancelled at the last minute (never, ever, ever booking with Porter again); I was also hoping to be in Montreal two weeks ago, but apparently that event was too cool to accept my application. Missed my chance to do a Hamilton fair because I didn’t even know of its existence until the last minute; maybe in 2024?
And I performed at the inaugural New Mexico Poetry Summit in Albuquerque. And I had a few other gigs here in Toronto, and a few on Zoom. And the Writers’ Union of Canada selected one of my short stories as a runner-up in a contest, finally and definitively proving York University wrong about my writing abilities. And I was showcased in the Toronto Guardian and appeared in at least one more podcast…
And I performed stand-up comedy in front of live audiences for the first time, and found I wasn’t entirely terrible at it. And I turned fifty, with shockingly little life accomplishment to show for it. Just think of what Orson Welles achieved before he was thirty. I’m a disgrace.
Who knows what’s in store for 2024? I have no idea; almost all of it is up in the air.
One thing I do know: the year will kick off with my appearance on The Poetic Robin Hood, a poetry podcast hosted by Christopher Moore. No, not the famous Christopher Moore – the Chicago-based poet.
The episode will be available on New Year’s Day, on Spotify and other online platforms.
Not sure what time it’s going live. I’ll be flying home from Saskatchewan that day (yes, more bloody flying), so I’ll catch it later.
Now, here’s Baby Meryl Streep silently showing her love for the Beatles.
See you next Tuesd—I mean, next year.
I made it. I made it to Oz.
The land of Jacko and Yahoo Serious and bigger knives than yours.
If you have friends on the east or west coasts, tell them to get themselves to one of my events with Paul R. Kohn:
Let’s hope I get to meet Skippy:
G’day luv.
September was a bonkers month, and October is already set to be bonkerser.
Albuquerque was fantastic, but Vancouver and Lethbridge… seemed like a much more fun idea back in May. I’m never zigzagging across the country like that again, over a couple of weekends, just to sell a handful of books. I’m not saying I regret it, but I’m never doing it again. (At least not on my own dime.) Way too stressful and expensive. If I’d had more vacation days available, I would’ve just stayed out west the whole time like a sensible person. But such was not to be, Cherie.
You may already know what’s coming next week, and I’ll post about that later.
In the meantime…
I’m featured in the latest episode of the podcast The Artsy Raven.
Watch JF Garrard’s interview with me here:
You can also listen to the episode on Spotify:
(Note: the interview was back in June or so. Since then, I have successfully joined Instagram and have also attempted stand-up comedy.)
Stay tuned. More to come.
In the meantime… if you thought you were hallucinating that The Great Space Coaster had actually once existed, here it is. (For those who’ve never heard of the show, it was sort of Sesame Street with laugh tracks.
Farewell for now.
Busy, busy month. And getting busier next month.
This weekend, I’m heading to Albuquerque… but not going to take the left turn, nor am I going straight. I’m going to break the Bugs Bunny rule and stay where I am. Because I’ll be featuring at the New Mexico Poetry Summit, alongside these fine folks:
I get a fifteen-minute live set on the Saturday morning, at a spot called Tortuga Gallery. The festival includes an open mic and other cool events, all organized by Marissa Prada.
Visit the Read or Green Books website for more information.
But wait, there’s more!
The following weekend, catch me at Word Vancouver, selling both hardcover and paperback copies of my novel Hate Story.
And that’s not all!
The weekend after that, you can also catch me at Word on the Street Lethbridge in Lethbridge, Alberta, doing the same.
I’ll leave you with a bit of Walt. (Not Whitman.)
So my appearance at Indie Author Book Expo North turned out to be a lie.
The event happened as planned, of course… but I wasn’t there. Because the flight to Timmins was cancelled.
I got a refund from the airline immediately. But I’m still disappointed. I think Porter should go to Timmins and make everybody there buy my book. That would be fair, wouldn’t it?
But never mind. I’m doing another out-of-town literary event at the end of this month, and I won’t need any plane fare or accommodations for this one. I don’t even have to leave my computer.
Because I’m featuring in this… only on Zoom:
Part of this ongoing lineup of August features:
I’ll read for fifteen minutes, followed by an open mic, so bring a poem of your own to share.
More info, including the Zoom link, right here.
And stayed tuned for some actual travel in the coming months. If the airlines can be trusted.
Vancouver, Alberta, Australia and more await…
May you all one day find the joy that Jacko finds in Energizer batteries.
Why the Shania Twain reference in the heading?
Because I’m going to be in her hometown next weekend.
I’ll be one of the exhibitors in this thing:
So if you know anybody in Timmins who loves books, tell them to go.
As usual, I’ll be selling and promoting both the hardcover and paperback editions of Hate Story, as well as the spoken-word CD that I’ve been trying to get rid of for more than eight years now.
More information on the event at this link.
If I don’t sell anything… it won’t impress me much.
This will be the next stop on Jeff’s Magical Canadian Book-Fair Tour.
Speaking of Jeff’s Magical Canadian Book-Fair Tour… there’s a new stop on Jeff’s Magical Canadian Book-Fair Tour.
That’s right – on September 16, I’ll be exhibiting at Word Vancouver.
This year, it’s happening at UBC Robson Square.
That’s all for now.
I’ll leave you with a rockin’ tune about long-distance communications.
I meant to post an entry earlier, but got caught up in work and a grant application and planning stuff.
I’m going to tell you about the big Book-Fair Tour in the title… but first, BIG NEWS:
My story “The Madness East of St. George” was a finalist in the Writers’ Union of Canada’s 2023 Short Prose Competition for Emerging Writers!
As a result, the Writers’ Union of Canada will submit my story, the contest winner, and ten other finalists to a few major Canadian magazines for possible publication.
More information about the contest at this link.
And now…
Roll up!
Roll up for Jeff’s Magical Canadian Book-Fair Tour!
This Saturday afternoon, I’ll be at the Ottawa Small Press Book Fair at the Jack Purcell Community Centre in (duh) Ottawa. It’ll be my first time in the capital in almost ten years. Look for me with a half-table there, selling my novel Hate Story (both hardcover and paperback versions) and my 2015 CD This Album is NIT FENNY!.
More info about the Ottawa Small Press Fair here.
Next up…
JULY 22: Indie Author Book Expo North, Timmins, Ontario
SEPTEMBER 23: Word on the Street, Lethbridge, Alberta
SEPTEMBER: Hopefully the Toronto WotS Pop-Up event… if it doesn’t conflict with another event, and IF they actually get my application this time.
There’s also a thing in Montreal in December, so we’ll see if I get in that one too.
I don’t have a promo video, but I suppose I can steal this one:
See you there. Wherever you be.
I’ve already mentioned the event I’m doing on April 2 here… but I thought I’d pop back in to point out a couple of small media thingees that featured me last week. Because I know the millions of salivating fans who devour this website with unquenchable addiction are hungry to know.
First: The Toronto Guardian‘s “A Day in the Life” artist-profile series featured me on Wednesday. With an adorably snarky bio by my friend, YA novelist Timothy Carter.
Click here to read the Guardian piece.
Second: I was recently interviewed on the new literary video series In Other Words, in which authors are asked questions about anything except their work. Hosts James Bryant and Lee Eric Freedman asked me about puppies, karaoke, the Beatles, the JFK assassination, and cancel culture (“Yes, he’s whining about cancel culture again! Who does he think he is, Tucker Ingraham or somethin’?!?”).
The episode hasn’t been uploaded to YouTube yet, but you can currently watch it on Facebook.
Click here to watch.
Once again, if you’re in the Toronto area, come to Bright Lit, Big City on the afternoon of April 2.
And if you missed my Art Bar feature a couple of weeks ago… you can watch part of it here:
Stay warm, Heinrich Broarm.
March comes in like a poem and goes out like a book.
I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean either, but it sounded mildly clever.
And it’s an apt way to introduce what I’m doing from early March to early April – a period that starts with a live poetry gig and ends with a live fiction reading.
That’s right! Live features! In person, here in Toronto! Not on Zoom.
So you get all the benefits of seeing a writer live on a stage… without any of the benefits of watching them online. The latter benefits being the ability to view from anywhere in the world, and the convenience of watching from home. Maybe the COVID lockdown spoiled us in some ways.
So here’s what’s on, John. Here’s what’s soon, goon. Here’s what’s happening… Lappening.
1) March 6: The Art Bar
I’m a headliner once again at Canada’s longest-running poetry series, along with Laurie Macfayden and an open mic. This is my first live poetry gig in Toronto in more than three years. (I’m not counting the book launch last November or AuthorFest last August, in both of which I read from my novel… and I’m definitely not counting the outdoor gig I was supposed to do a year and a half ago, at which literally nobody showed up, including the host.)
2) April 2: Bright Lit, Big City
Carolyn Bennett is back to host this fiction reading series, in which I’ll be reading from my novel Hate Story. This was supposed to take place way back in November, but things got weird with the venue scheduling. I’ll be sharing the stage with the likes of Josh Morris, Lisa de Nikolits, Alan Resnick and Brent van Staalduinen.
My appearance at Bright Lit, Big City is being funded by the Writers’ Union of Canada.
More info on these two events in the right sidebar.
Also look for me as a guest in the upcoming web series In Other Words, and I’m also going to be spotlit this month in the Toronto Guardian‘s “A Day in the Life” series.
Finally – if you missed my Spoken World Online feature on Zoom a few weeks ago, you can catch it on YouTube:
Tally ho, Dinklemeyer.
Busy these days, mostly with trying to find the time to work on the next book.
So I’ll make this one brief. Three events coming up over the next few weeks, all online:
1) Spoken World Online: this Tuesday
The Zoom extension of Spoken Word Paris, hosted by David Leo Sirois. I gigged in the IRL version of this series back in 2015 (as well as the Monday series twice, in 2015 and last October).
2) Soul Refraction book launch for Paul R. Kohn: February 4
Paul has asked me to perform my poem “Adequate Man” as one of the guest performers for his book launch, along with fellow Decent Beings tourmates Skylar J. Wynter and Neshka Turner.
3) Magic Theatre Poetry Reading: February 19
A monthly series. Happens at 8:30 in the morning EST, I think because one of the organizers is based in Thailand.
#1 and #3 also have open mics, so if you ain’t coming for me, come to share your own work.
More info, including links to Zoom details, in the right sidebar or to come.
Also catch me live in Toronto in March at Bright Lit Big City (date and venue to be confirmed).
Now, some existential horror from Charles M. Schulz:
Bye.