October is the Month of Jeff

Posted by Jeff on Sep 30th, 2020 in News | 0 comments

Remember the Summer of George?

That was from a Seinfeld episode. The Summer of George didn’t go so well for Mr. Costanza. But I’m unofficially declaring October to be the Month of Jeff, and I’m hoping to have better luck.
(That is, if a fictional character who temporarily attracted Marisa Tomei and slept with many other beautiful women who should have been out of his league can be said to be unlucky.)

Anyway.

October is the Month of Jeff because I have three Zoom spoken-word gigs:

1) October 6: Oooh Beehive’s Barrel of Laughs

A lot of people say poetry and comedy shouldn’t mix. A lot of snooty, arrogant people, that is, who probably don’t get out enough. Well, Oooh Beehive sets out to prove these horrible people wrong. This Swindon, England-based night also features U.K. star Robert Garnham and the series’ usual hosts Clive Oseman and Nick Lovell, plus a limited open mic.

To register for the Zoom meeting, get a free e-ticket here.

2) October 30 (afternoon): Pic n Mix
Another U.K. series, which will feature other spoken-word artists and a bigger open mic.

3) October 30 (evening): Ad Lib’s Got Talent – Zoom Edition
The usual gang of idiots is back, for this talent night that happens at Toronto’s Arts and Letters Club during normal times.

That’s right. I’m doing two gigs in one day – on both sides of the Atlantic.
I’m pulling a Phil Collins at Live Aid.

Info on the above events in the right sidebar. Click back for updated links. (That is, if anybody actually visits this bloody website.)

Another reason October is the Month of Jeff is that I’ve recently been interviewed for an Australian poetry podcast series, which is going live near the end of the month. Not sure of the date of my episode yet. Will let you know.

Now, a song about a cowboy who won’t come do his census.

Happy fall, fall boys.

Fly Me to the Zoom

Posted by Jeff on Aug 15th, 2020 in News | 0 comments

Zoom is a delightful thing, isn’t it?
Over the past four or five months, I’ve done a metric freakload of poetry open mics in the U.K., a whole lot more in New York and California and Nashville, and also a handful in continental Europe. I even made my Australian debut earlier this week, though I had to wake up before 4:30 in the morning for it. And I got to do all of this without playing any plane fare, booking accommodations, or even bringing a passport. Spoken-word open mics are essentially the same wherever you go. That’s a funny silver lining of this silly pandemic – artists from all over the world are connecting and networking through the Zoom phenomenon.

While I’ve made some cool new friends and contacts in this global community, nobody has offered me a gig yet – at least, not outside of Toronto. Not a huge loss; I’ve already done plenty of features in the U.K. and the U.S. in the real world. But I do have a few local virtual events coming up, and you should go to them. You don’t even have to leave home.

First up: this Thursday, catch me on Zoom at Brenda Clews’ event, Pull Down the Northern Lights for Chandeliers.
Brenda will perform a new prose poem on the theme of writer’s block. (If you’re one of those people who feel that nobody should ever write poetry about poetry, this may fill you with rage and loathing for a lifetime. Oh well.) Then I and a few other local scribes will read a piece each, and we will discuss our writing processes and how we overcome lack of inspiration.

Then, on the 25th, I will host the Virtual Art Bar, featuring Ian Burgham and Sharon Goodier.
This is a prerecorded Facebook event – to view it, go to the Art Bar FB page and view videos of the featured poets reading their work, and me being silly.

Relevant links are on the right sidebar.

Also: Ad Lib’s Got Talent: Zoom Edition is coming back in September. Same folks, same vibe, same relaxed evening of art and whatever. Link to come.

Happy Amy Reville’s birthday. Here’s a thing.

Ad Lib’s Got Talent: Zoom Edition III

Posted by Jeff on Aug 3rd, 2020 in News | 0 comments

Another three weeks pass, another Ad Lib Zoom night.

Happening this Friday. Details on the right sidebar.
Performers include me (I’ll read part of a story-in-progress), Vanessa McMahon, Dimetre Alexou, Charlene Winger… and a special appearance by Virginia performance poet Special K!

Happy Simcoe Day. I hope Simcoe gives you everything you want.

Cancel culture probably exists! (Now that I have your attention…)

Posted by Jeff on Jul 11th, 2020 in News | 0 comments

Everybody’s talking about cancel culture these days, what with that notorious Harper’s Bazaar letter and whatnot. Why do I bring up the subject, when there are much more pressing problems in the world right now?

Because the novel I’ve been working on, Hate Story, is a satire of so-called cancel culture. Or, if you hate that term and think it’s nothing but a right-wing myth designed to protect the wealthy and privileged… how about public shaming? Online bullying? Mob hysteria and rule? Whatever you want to call it, my book’s about it. And I’ve posted a preview – the first six chapters – on the writing website Wattpad. You should read it. Here’s the link.

 

It’s a new novel about the Internet, a human life, and everything in between.
Paul Shoreditch has died – and his funeral has inspired a violent riot. Jackie Roberts, a young freelance journalist who’s addicted to classic cinema and online flame wars in equal measure, has been assigned to find out why. What led to Paul’s death? What did he do to make so many people so angry? Who put up a website devoted solely to shaming him – and why?

Mixing satire with mystery, cynicism with compassion, Hate Story is an outrageous, darkly funny and timely tale that will keep you wanting more.

* * * * *

The other reason I’m posting this is to let you know that I’m reading in a Zoom event this Friday – Ad Lib’s Got Talent: Zoom Edition II. It’s the standard Ad Lib talent show that typically happens at the Arts and Letters Club in Toronto, only there’s a silly pandemic out there, so we’re doing it online. Other likely performers include Vanessa McMahon, Charlene Winger and Dimetre Alexou. Damon Lum hosts as always. Check the right sidebar to find out more.

If you can’t make it Friday, but you still want to see and/or hear me read and perform stuff, go to this page here for a handful of videos and mp3s.

Remember, cancel culture probably isn’t real. Or is it?

I guess I’m cancelled now. Damn.

Must read book excerpts now posted on Wattpad: “Hate Story”

Posted by Jeff on May 16th, 2020 in News | 0 comments

Check out the first several chapters of the must read book, Hate Story, by Jeff Cottrill, now posted on the writing website Wattpad. Here’s the link.

 

It’s a new novel about the Internet, a human life, and everything in between.
Paul Shoreditch has died – and his funeral has inspired a violent riot. Jackie Roberts, a young freelance journalist who’s addicted to classic cinema and online flame wars in equal measure, has been assigned to find out why. What led to Paul’s death? What did he do to make so many people so angry? Who put up a website devoted solely to shaming him – and why?

Mixing satire with mystery, cynicism with compassion, Hate Story is a darkly funny and timely tale that will keep you wanting more.

*****

As I’ve mentioned in previous entries, I’ve posted the first six chapters – or five, if you don’t want to count the prologue-pretending-not-to-be-a-prologue that I’ve titled “Chapter Zero” – of Hate Story online. This time, I’m trying something a little different. I’m using my limited yet professionally relevant knowledge of SEO optimization to see if I can attract random web searchers. This may be a really dumb idea that won’t work in the slightest, but I thought it would be fun to try.

You may have noticed that I’ve begun the title of this post with the words “must read book” and included that phrase in the opening paragraph. That’s my keyword for this web page. Apparently people look for that or something. I’ll write it again: must read book. (I really want to put a hyphen in that, but people on the Internet hate hyphens.) You may also notice that I’m trying to stretch this out to at least 300 words, since I understand that’s the minimum limit.

I guess I need an internal link too. Here you go. It’s a handful of videos and mp3s.

Happy reading.

Lockdown got you bored?

Posted by Jeff on Apr 19th, 2020 in News | 0 comments

Looking for something to read while you’re stuck at home self-isolating? Gone through all your books and desperate for something new?

Well, have I got something for you, kids.

You can read Hate Story, my novel-in-progress!

Or at least the first few chapters.
I’ve been posting them weekly on the writing website Wattpad. So far, I’ve put up the first three: Chapters Zero, One and Two. (Chapter Zero is really kind of a prologue. I’m calling it that because I didn’t want it to look like the standard, cliché prologue-before-the-main-action deal. Even though it, well, kind of is.)

Here’s the link.

Bear in mind that I don’t consider these to be final drafts. They say that a work of art (or, perhaps in this case, brainless entertainment) is never completed, but only abandoned. I’m currently working with the Humber School for Writers to tweak this into something that fits the barest outer reaches of being publishable by even the smallest of presses. And even if I end up having to self-publish this thing, I don’t want it to suck completely.

Happy reading.

*****

Are you done reading? Still bored?

Here’s what the Chipmunks sound like at normal speed.

Ta ta.

The luck of the pot

Posted by Jeff on Feb 29th, 2020 in News | 0 comments

Hey you.

Friday night, come to the Ad Lib Potluck.
I’ll be reading something. There will be other performers, probably Vanessa McMahon and Charlene Winger and stuff. Damon Lum hosts again.

And there will be food.
Details, right sidebar.

Don’t feel like writing anymore.
Here are some puppies and a mean mommy.

Happy March.

Valentine’s / And the lovin’ is easy…

Posted by Jeff on Feb 7th, 2020 in News | 0 comments

Just a quick note to let you know that I’m about to do my first poetry gig in more than eleven months. This Tuesday, you can catch me at the Art Bar Valentine’s Night, along with Valentino Assenza, Rahul Gupta and an open mic. Cynthia Gould hosts.

Yeah, I know. Three males. Two of them white. Not the wokest of lineups. But that’s the way it worked out, so I say shrug and come and have a good time. Deets on the right sidebar.

And to put you in the Valentine’s mood, here’s an uplifting Valentine’s scene from the ultimate Valentine’s movie.

Seeya.

“They’re a rotten crowd. You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.”

Posted by Jeff on Jan 1st, 2020 in News | 0 comments

The twenties are back, everybody.
Yes, I know… the pedants are going to look at you condescendingly and sneer and say, “No. No. The new decade does not start until 2021. Stop behaving like a swine, you unsophisticated fool.” Well, to hell with them. Let’s start partying like we’re at the Gatsby mansion at midnight in 1924, or at the Overlook Hotel in 1921.

One year ago today, I began writing my novel, Hate Story.
I was hoping to have a full first draft completed well before now, but life always gets in the way. The good news is that I’m near 200 pages. More good news: next week, I’m supposed to start the Humber School for Writers mentorship program. Hopefully this program will help transform my book into something that fits into the widest outer realm of being publishable.

One year ago today, I began writing the opening chapter of Hate Story. Today, I hope to sit down again with that opening chapter and fix all of the many, many issues with it, before I show it to my mentor.

But I’m not writing this website update to tell you about all that. I’m here to tell you that Damon Lum is hosting yet another Ad Lib Talent Show for his birthday this month, and I’ll be one of the performers. I’ll read a piece of fiction there, though I haven’t decided what yet. More deets on the right sidebar.

Speaking of me and pieces of fiction: I recently had two short stories published on the website The Blake-Jones Review! Read them here:

“Way Out”
“Death Has a Laugh”

I also posted another story draft on Wattpad, which may amuse you:

“Stock Star”

And my recent theatre reviews for Digital Journal – The Flick, Bend It Like Beckham: The Musical and Second City’s current revue – are at this link.

And now… on with the twenties.
Here’s a video guide if you need it:

Ta ta.

You can always depend on the kindness of strangers

Posted by Jeff on Oct 6th, 2019 in News | 0 comments

Just checking in again, to remind you all (or anyone who visits this site, if anyone does) that I exist, I breathe, I live, and I’m still writing. Well, trying to find time to write. I’ve hit a wall in my novel-in-progress, mainly due to lack of time, which has killed my momentum. I hope to pick it up again soon.

I’ve started a Wattpad account. And I’ve posted a grand total of… one story there:

“A Dickens of a Day”

It’s a very silly homage to Charles Dickens, a re-imagining of his first meeting with Ellen Ternan. And his weird habit of staring at corpses. Seriously, look it up.
Other stories to come, I hope… when I find the time to make revisions to them.

More importantly: my more polished short story “The Madness East of St. George” is going to appear in the next issue of The Artis magazine. (I mistakenly believed it was going to be in the spring issue, so ignore my past mentions.) It is expected to be out next month… more or less. I think you’ll be able to pick it up at Indigo in Oakville or something. Or order it online. Here’s the mag’s website.

And I’m still doing theatre reviews for Digital Journal. I’ve written a few new ones since my last post here; you can read them at this link. You can still catch Soulpepper’s excellent production of A Streetcar Named Desire for the next three weeks. Brando isn’t in this one, though. Neither is Marge Simpson.

And now, to the point:
Ad Lib is holding another one of its talent shows this month, a Halloween-themed one that is also a celebration of musician Vanessa McMahon’s birthday. I’ll be reading or performing something there too. Come in costume if you want. Details on the right sidebar.

And I’ll leave you with…