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Get Hot for Project HOTS

The Horseshoe Tavern is an iconic Toronto venue that has hosted performances by musical acts ranging from the Rolling Stones, The Police, The Talking Heads and The Ramones to Bryan Adams, The Tragically Hip and Blue Rodeo. Or so Wikipedia tells me.

And now… I’m about to add my name to that illustrious list.

Because I’m doing a short (ten minutes) set next week at the Horseshoe, as part of Project HOTS – a fundraiser show to raise money to buy food and winter gear for Toronto’s homeless population this winter.

The show also features Cynthia Gould (of High Heels Lo Fi fame, performing a solo set), Lizzie Violet, Heather Babcock, Cate McKim, Kat Leonard, SuperTash and a whole whack of other local poets and musicians.

Come out and support a good cause.

If you don’t come, I’m just going to have to assume that you don’t like the homeless. No, just kidding. But do come. Details on the right sidebar here. And here’s the Facebook event page.

*****

It’s too late to go out for Halloween, but it’s not too late to read my most recent Toronto.com article, “Haunted Places in Ontario”. It’s actually an update of Craig Clark’s listsicle from last year – I just added a lot of other spooky places across the province. Read it… alone, late at night.
Also, look out for an upcoming piece by me about places to go in Toronto over the holiday season.

And check out recent reviews I’ve done for Digital Journal. My pan of the Full House musical received more than five thousand hits, which wouldn’t be much for the Toronto Star or New York Times website, but it’s a lot for me. I also wrote about Kim Novak’s appearance at TIFF.

Bye.

Waiter, waiter, there’s soup in my fly

Hey squirt.

Two features coming up later this month… but first things first.

First of the firsts:
Did you catch this swell review of my CD, This Album Is NIT FENNY! on Cate McKim’s arts blog, Life with More Cowbell? If you haven’t, well, there it is.

Second of the firsts:
Summer is the best time for cruising. No, I’m not talking about the notorious 1980 movie. I mean literal boat cruises. I wrote an article on those for Toronto.com, and you can peruse said article at this link.

Second of the second of the firsts:
I also wrote a handful of reviews for Digital Journal in July. There’s one of Harper Lee’s Go Set a Watchman, two of this year’s Shakespeare in High Park productions and one about a book about the making of an unfinished Orson Welles film. You can catch those ones right here.

By the way, the Watchman review got reprinted on Business Insider. Don’t believe me? Check it out here.
Also, the Welles article has five hundred and sixty-one “likes”. Which is all the more impressive, considering that only three hundred and seventeen people have actually read it. Methinks people have been liking posts of the piece on Facebook without actually clicking on the link. (I don’t know what you thinks…)

And now. On with the shows, this is it…

Later this month, I’m doing a gig in Richmond Hill with Valentino Assenza, Anto Man-Ming Chan, Pat Connors and someone or something known as Glowie. Plus there’s an open mic. It’s at a bar called Yogi’s. I don’t know yet if they serve pickanick baskets. Or catcher’s mitts.

A week after that, I’m doing Lizzie Violet‘s monthly series at Hirut Restaurant in Toronto’s east end. Also taking the stage are Philip Cairns, Arlene Paculan and Anastace Krieger. No open mic this time. But lots of great Ethiopian food and a friendly atmosphere.

Wanna go to one of these? More deets on the right sidebar.

Happy Simcoe Day! I’ve been practising my Simcoe carols. You?

Video shilled the spoken-word star

Did you miss me?

Oh.

Well, I’m back anyway. And with a few new videos.

See, I’ve been a little concerned that I don’t have a lot of performance videos of me on the YouTubes and whatnot. But about six weeks ago, I featured in a well-regarded spoken-word series in Salford, England (it’s a suburb of Manchester – the one where Coronation Street is set, more or less) called Evidently, and they film everybody. And they make it look kind of professional, with titles and stuff.

So now there are new videos of me online performing “How to Write and Perform a Slam Poem”, “Border Crossing”, “Pitches” and “Politics”:

I posted only the former two here, because “Pitches” didn’t get much of a reaction at the show, and because I messed up one line in “Politics”.
But if you just can’t make it through the day without seeing a video of me performing “Politics”, well, weep no more! Because this one was taken at my CD launch party in April:

Look – somebody even “liked” this one! They clicked on the thumbs-up and everything.

*****

I didn’t win the KRW Award.
But you know something? Stanley Kubrick never won a competitive Academy Award, did he? So I am still the Kubrick of Canadian trade magazines.

Yup.

I’ve got several gigs coming up, most of which are months away. But I’m doing a short set at Outrageous tonight in Kensington Market, if you’re keen for that.
I’m also doing a feature set in less than two weeks at Jammin’ on the One, or JOTO, along with my friends at Kirsten Sandwich. And there’s an open short-form improv jam, so wake up your inner Colin Mochrie and get your game on, honeyboy.

I’ve published a few new articles on Toronto.com since we spoke last – on hiking trails, canoeing and kayaking. Very summer-themed. You can also read my coverage of last Monday’s Dora Awards… if you dare.

Now – go, my son.

Say, mac, what’s the scoop, see?

I bet you didn’t know that they give out awards for trade magazines.

Apparently they do. At least in Canada.
The KRW Awards for business-to-business publishing has been around for more than sixty years, in fact.

And I’m nominated for one this year.

No, seriously. I am.

Really.

My article “Off the Rails”, which ran in the March 2014 issue of OHS Canada, is nominated for Best Resource/Infrastructure Article. Along with six other folks.

There’s even an awards ceremony of some kind, happening on June 2.
Thankfully, I won’t have to wear a tuxedo, or inform nosy red-carpet interviewers whom I’m wearing. And Joan Rivers won’t be there to insult people, because she’s a little tied up this year with being dead.

Still don’t believe me?
Well, I’m listed on the KRW website nominees list. I defy you to find another Jeff Cottrill who writes for OHS Canada.

“Off the Rails” is accessible from the magazine’s website, and the KRW site has a PDF file of the actual magazine version, which you can see here.

I also wrote a couple of articles for the last issue, including a short piece called “Putting Stress on Stress”, which is online here.
Also check out a couple of new theatre reviews on Digital Journal.

We happy?

It is here! It is now!

Launch party for This Album Is NIT FENNY! is this Thursday!

You go!

There’s been a slight change in the lineup since the last time I posted.
First, Kraken Not Stirred will not be performing, because Mike Bryant’s day job now has silly work hours that are not really of the “day” breed. Second, the “probably some kind of comedy act, TBA” that I mentioned last time is going to be my friend Magdalena, who’ll give a short preview of her upcoming Fringe show.

Are you on the Facebook? If so, you can RSVP on this event page.

If you miss the launch… you can still catch me on the radio on the evening of April 21, when I’ll be appearing on HOWL once again. Formerly hosted by the late Nik Beat, the show has recently been taken over by Valentino Assenza. The show’s on at 10:00 p.m. EST (or 3:00 a.m. in the U.K., in case any insomniac Brit friends want to check in); you can hear it locally at 89.5 FM or online at this link.

Like theatre reviews?
I’ve written two new ones – of Faulty Towers: The Dining Experience and The Daisy Theatre.

Bye.

Could it be? Yes, it could. Something’s coming, something good…

Hey, gang.

My new CD, This Album is NIT FENNY!, is now available.

Remember last month, when I told you there was going to be a launch party for the album, with lots of cool opening performers? You didn’t think I was lying to you about that, did you? You know I’d never lie to you.

And so the launch is on, baby.
It’s happening on April 2, at the Black Swan Tavern. There’ll be swell opening acts by musicians Kirsten Sandwich, Kari Maaren and Kraken Not Stirred; poet Cynthia Gould; novelist Timothy Carter; and probably some kind of comedy act, TBA. (I’ve heard some fantastic things about TBA. They have fake projectile vomit and everything. Make sure you get seats in the splatter zone.)

Are you on the Facebook? If so, you can RSVP on this event page.

Other than that, I’m still writing lots of articles.

Do you have kidlets? Want to keep them from getting bored over March Break? I have new two pieces on Toronto.com about local playgrounds – both indoor and outdoor.

Also have two new articles on Digital Journal, one a positive review of Cannibal! The Musical (which is still running for another week) and one an informal essay on why The Breakfast Club kind of sucks and Rebel without a Cause holds up better despite being twice its age.

Get with the clicking, buster.

Don’t make me tap the sign.

An announcementoid.

Are you ready? Are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?

Here’s a thing that’s coming soon:

This will be out sometime before May. Still negotiating and arranging all the things and stuff. There will be a launch party at some point, of course, with lots of cool performers. And yes, the album will include the notorious “How to Become a Deranged Leftist Reactionary”.

While you wait for that, you can see me perform at Habits Gastropub in the west end on February the 19th. Lizzie Violet is hosting, Lauren Stewart and Alyestal Hamilton are the other features and there will be an open mic too. You should go. You will be temporarily happy.

Want to read my recent review of Sharr White’s The Other Place, which is being staged at the St. Lawrence Centre? Click here.

Want to read my recent Toronto.com article about unconventional ways to stay fit in this city? Then click here. You can do it. I believe in you.

That’s all for now. Happy Groundhog Day. I like you.

We wish you a merry fitness / And a happy new YOU!

2014 is over. It is now 2015.

It was a year of stuff and things. It was a year when we lost some talented folks too soon, including Robin Williams and Philip Seymour Hoffman and Nik Beat. It was a year when liking a Woody Allen movie became a virtual hate crime. It was a year when bad people killed other people and stuff blew up, which happens every year anyway. It was a year that included the hundredth anniversary of World War I and the seventy-fifth anniversary of World War II, but hardly anybody noticed.

It was also a year when I somehow managed to remain employed full-time for the entire twelve months, and when I also wrote a lot of other stuff online. I went to New York City twice, and I attended tapings of both The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, saw Chris O’Dowd and James Franco act on Broadway and even got Bryan Cranston’s autograph. I even did karaoke in Montreal a couple of times, goddamn it. I played lots of board games, ate too much pasta and drank too much cider.

How is 2015 going to be any different, you ask? Okay, you didn’t ask, but tough. How?

Because I’m about to release a new album.

My third spoken-word album (not a physical CD this time, but a download card from the Internet) is going to be titled This Album is NIT FENNY. For those whose jaws are now hanging in lost, distressed bafflement, “nit fenny” is stuck-up-reactionary-college-student-ese for “not funny”. To demonstrate, say the title out loud in a whiny voice with your teeth clenched.

The album will be funny, of course. At least I think so. The usual suspects won’t. Hence the title.

But before the new album comes out (sometime before May, I anticipate), there’s one thing happening that also happened in 2014. And that thing is this: I’m featuring at Outrageous, at the Central, once again.

Hosted by the unbearably sexy Elizabeth Burns and attended by some loud, crazy kids who don’t like the quiet reverence of conventional poetry readings nor the militant political correctness of the slam scene, Outrageous is Toronto’s most out-RAAAAAY-jus spoken-word show. I’m there near the end of this month; look for me doing some of my more irreverent material.

And I’ll be doing other gigs later on. Not all of them local. Check the right sidebar yourself, because I can’t do everything for you, now, can I?

I’ve written some new reviews and op-ed pieces for Digital Journal too, so make with the clicky and have a good read.

Eat your fish heads. They’re good for you, Shorty.

Here’s a doggy.

Welcome to the title of U2’s second album

And welcome to fall. It’s pretty warm for the beginning of October so far. Climate change, man. Get with the thing and whatnot.

I have only one spoken-word gig this month, and it’s a small one. I’m reading my story “Nick Bland, in: Da Screwy Dame” at Hot Sauced Words: Poetry Noir, which is a special film noir-themed edition of the series. The story, and other readings, will be intros to some of James Dewar’s famous Poetry Theme Challenges (I would guess the theme for mine will be femme fatales).

The night is hosted by Romeo Satin and features the Satinettes.
Speaking of whom… why does Pelayo Matute always disappear every time Romeo’s in the room? It’s very odd. I’ve been trying to get a photo of them together for years, but it never gels. It’s like that Superman/Clark Kent thing. Could it be… No. No, it couldn’t. Pelayo doesn’t have a moustache.

I suppose I should give a Trigger Warning for this story. So:
Trigger Warning: “Da Screwy Dame” includes mild 1940s-style misogyny. Also a scene in which a cat gets threatened with pistol-whipping. Oops, just spoiled one of the jokes.

Halloween is coming up. Do you like scary things? Do you? Then read my new Toronto.com article, “Haunted Places in Toronto”. I also did a recent one about corn mazes in the Greater Toronto Area. And check out Digital Journal for some recent theatre reviews.

Stay classy, Biff.

Happy Civic Holiday, George Bailey!

I hope the Civic Holiday Gnome left some civics in your panties this morning, buster.

I only have one feature gig on the horizon this month. But that’s fine, because it’s going to be…

OOOOUUUTTTTTT – RAAAAAAAAAAY – GEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s how you’re supposed to say it.

Yes, I’m featuring in the infamous Outrageous poetry and music series at the Central in three weeks.
My dear old friend Cynthia Gould, of Some Words Spoken and High Heels Lo Fi fame, is another feature. The show also has Joseph Ianni, Londzo and Open Market, with an open mic, hosted by Elizabeth Burns.

You should go, damn you.

Based on my past attendance at this series, I gather that this is the one show where I get to do all my “offensive” material. The reason I am putting “offensive” in quotation marks is that I don’t really think I’m all that offensive – at least, not in comparison to past acts I’ve seen at Outrageous and some of the stuff we’re seeing on prime-time TV these days – but numerous slam poets and activists I’ve crossed swords with would highly disagree with me.

So I suppose that my Outrageous set should come equipped with a Trigger Warning. So:
Trigger Warning: My feature set at Outrageous will upset you if you do not have a sense of humour.

See you there. Have mercy on the boy.

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